Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV)
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
When you read Ephesians 5:22-25 there should be no doubt in your mind that God intended Christian men and Christian women to have separate roles. As Paul explains the distinct roles of husband and wife, keeping in mind that the true purpose is to be a representation of how Christ loved and honored His church, he makes it abundantly clear that there is a position of headship and a position of servanthood within the Christian marriage. In case you missed it the first time let’s try it again:
23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church,…24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
The roles are distinct, irrevocable, and not interchangeable or reversible. You can no more reverse the role of husband and wife than you can reverse the role of Christ and the church.
From John Piper:
“Husbands are compared to Christ; wives are compared to the church. Husbands are compared to the head; wives are compared to the body. Husbands are commanded to love as Christ loved; wives are commanded to submit as the church is to submit to Christ.”
Two points here:
- 1) Please do keep in mind that this discussion is specific to the relationship between Christian husbands and wives. This passage does not teach that a wife is to be submissive to all men, only to her husband. God has given the Christian wife a husband…he is hers…she possesses him…he belongs to her…and yet she submits to him.
- 2) Whether you’re a man or a woman, a husband or a wife, ….if the above passage makes you uncomfortable, if you think it’s oppressive or humiliating, bear in mind that by taking issue with it, by refusing to open your eyes and heart to this teaching, your disagreement is not with me,.. but you have now chosen to stand in opposition to the Creator of the universe.
So, we see that a wife’s submission within the confines of Christian marriage is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.
John MacArthur offers this:
“But in the created order and in the proper design of God, it is legally binding by the commandment of the Almighty Himself that a wife be in submission to her husband. It is fitting, Paul says, before the Lord. His leadership is given by God and she is to recognize that and in a humble spirit of loving submission come under that leadership. And again I remind you that this should be easy to do, it should be very appropriate, well understood, except for the curse, except for our sinfulness and except for the onslaught that Satan has brought against marriage to confuse these issues.”
Take a moment to look at Proverbs 31. I’m going to reference verses 10-12 and 26-31, although if you will take a moment to read the full passage it clearly reflects the value of a wife’s efforts. If you believe that the above statement(s) serve to repress, stifle, squelch or restrain a wife and mother please examine Proverbs 31.
Proverbs 31:10-12, 26-31 (NIV)
10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
If you read through this passage you will see the wife and mother portrayed thusly: valuable, trustworthy, supportive, enterprising, productive, willing to sacrifice. Those don’t sound like inferior or sub-standard character traits. Those are traits that are to be sought after. Those are the traits that stand the test of time and ravages of a fallen, sinful society.
The Lord has established a divine model of marriage. It is between a man and a woman. The Lord, in His wisdom, has appointed the man to be the leader, provider, and protector in your marriage and in your family. Wives, you are the body of the marriage covenant, and your husband is the head of it.
John MacArthur again:
Jesus Christ is the Savior of the church, and when he died on the cross He said, “It is finished” (John 19:30). All we need to do is fall under His provision. That’s the illustration. Now in the home, the husband is the provider, the deliverer, the protector, and the savior. We don’t need co-breadwinners, co-saviors, co-protectors, co-providers, or co-preservers. All a wife needs to do is fall under the protection, the provision, and the preservation of her husband. That’s God-ordained pattern. And believe me, when we follow that pattern, we’ll have happier homes, godlier children, and fewer divorces. God will be honored, and the Word of God will not be blasphemed.
Why is this important? What weight does it really carry in today’s society? We’re talking about nothing of less importance than Biblical authority.
If we claim we are Christians, affirm that we believe in the Word of God, go forth and offer the Gospel to the lost, proclaim the Bible to be wholly sufficient for our needs, yet in our daily testimony, the lives that others see us living, do not honor the Word of God, why should anyone believe that it’s as important as we claim it is? Where there is a lack of obedience to the tenets of scripture, there is a statement being made. The impact of losing the authority of scripture is devastating.
If it means you need to make changes in you life….make them. It’s that simple. If we as Christians are going to have an impact in the world, that’s the way we need to live. And may God help us to do that for His glory, through His grace and by His mercy.
